I feel it’s straightforward to inform why Bieber is drawn to “WTHelly.” Right here’s a rapper simply throwing shit on the wall, going viral by operating with a half-assed joke he got here up with on a whim within the studio. Bieber’s deep respect for “WTHelly” comes by way of in a leaked Instagram DM from a couple of month in the past. “Dangerous hoes give me Becky,” he apparently messaged Rob; the lyric clearly had moved him. Naturally, Rob gave thanks by typing again, “Wthellyyyyy WtBieberrrrr.” I think about that made Bieber’s day.
Sadly, Bieber’s remix is terrible. He doesn’t even rap, and, as a substitute, harmonizes because the fast-paced drums fade out to create space for a gradual and cloudy piano outro. “What the helly I’ma do if I can’t get by way of to you?” sings Bieber repeatedly, like he thinks he’s on a Boyz II Males document. I simply know he has a Notes app stuffed with bars about smoking weed and getting head that he’s been jotting down for a decade, however he opts to maintain these on ice. The one saving grace is that his vocals sound barely pitched-up. What’s the purpose of Bieber being on the monitor if he’s not going to totally lean into the off-the-cuff spirit and format of the unique?
How was the mark missed so badly? Did Bieber’s handlers give him tips that they’ll solely permit him to idiot round if he sang? Did he rooster out and retreat to his consolation zone? Do rappers simply need Bieber to be Bieber they know? Who is aware of. Perhaps Bieber simply thinks these overproduced switch-ups are extraordinarily cool. He’s a Travis Scott man, in spite of everything. I’m undecided what I anticipated. Bieber’s Stinc Staff impression? His interpretation of the “Evil J0rdan” movement? That will have been a catastrophe, however the sort of catastrophe that an actual regional rap star would drop on Monitor 17 of their third mixtape of the yr with out a second thought. Maybe all my fantasies about who Bieber is or needs to be in 2025 are full bullshit, and he’s nonetheless, above all, simply Justin Bieber the popstar, and he’s cool with that.
Throwback Rapper Film Nook: Tone Loc in 1997’s Fakin’ da Funk
In 1997, Dante Basco, identified to me because the Filipino dude from that one season of Moesha, starred within the uncomfortably unhealthy comedy Fakin’ da Funk as Julian, a Chinese language American teen who grew up raised in a Black household. Originally of the film, the household strikes from Atlanta to Los Angeles, the place Julian undergoes an id disaster about his tradition, introduced on by neighborhood youngsters questioning why he makes use of slang and performs basketball. (You’re telling me in Los Angeles in 1997 they’ve by no means met a Chinese language child who likes rap and basketball? Certain.) As is the norm within the ’90s, L.A. rapper Tone Loc is a part of the solid as a gangster from round the best way named Frog. He doesn’t actually do a lot besides mumble quite a bit and put on sun shades, however he does get Julian’s little brother combined up within the gang. Julian and Frog find yourself having to settle their variations by way of a basketball recreation, which Julian, in fact, wins. Unexpectedly, Frog takes the loss fairly properly and doesn’t pull a Wooden Harris on the finish of Above the Rim. After that journey, Fakin’ da Funk left me with an important message: You may examine the African American field off in your census should you can hoop.
