One other 12 months, one other Tremendous Bowl the place we have now to observe the Kansas Metropolis Chiefs. Yay. The NFL is as soon as once more ending the season not with a bang, however a boring-ass whimper. The Chiefs have taken over because the league’s most-hated crew, and now they’re a sadder iteration of the Patriots. A minimum of it was enjoyable to hate Tom Brady and Invoice Belichick in New England, the Star Wars memes, Evil Empire references, fleeting alternatives to observe Brady get some comeuppance, solely to see him simply preserve successful.
Kansas Metropolis is completely different. The Chiefs aren’t even compelling sufficient to hate in a enjoyable approach.
In a league of sports activities vehicles and monster vans, the Chiefs meander alongside at cruise management locked at 45 miles per hour. They’re completely within the sluggish lane, the Volvo of the NFL. No person hates the Volvo, however no person likes it.
There’s a pure tendency to easily hate dominant groups in sports activities, however there are a number of self-inflicted wounds that makes this crew so naturally loathsome.
No. 1: The Chiefs are boring as hell
Tom Brady was boring, however he led with the expectation of being boring. Everybody knew Brady’s finest attribute was his thoughts, which allowed him to be an extension of the teaching workers on the sector and at all times make the right determination with the ball. This meant that we by no means anticipated the athletic second, the ludicrous throw, the play that separates NFL athletes from mortals.
In the meantime we know how enjoyable Patrick Mahomes may be. His off-platform brilliance, the bounce passes, rolling out and making a deep throw out of nothing. We noticed it for years earlier than the Chiefs moved into their “Ruthless Effectivity” period, and that’s what makes this crew so rattling tiresome.
There’s simply nothing enjoyable about watching an offensive that endlessly throws 7-to-9 yard digs to Travis Kelce. The bootleg roll out cross to a operating again to realize 5 yards is yawn-worthy. The Chiefs have so completely damaged down what it takes to win within the NFL that they’re glad with simply coasting.
I miss the previous Chiefs. The wild Chiefs. The primary-year Tremendous Bowl Chiefs when the crew truly needed to attempt. Now they simply make the sport look straightforward and take probably the most environment friendly path to victory. It’s doable to respect that however simply not prefer it, and no person likes it.
No. 2: How pressured Travis and Taylor has grow to be
You understand as a child when one thing was actually enjoyable till your mother and father began doing it? That’s what’s occurred to Travis Kelce and Taylor Swift’s relationship. It began out being natural, and candy — introducing a complete new viewers to the world of soccer. It was contemporary, and thrilling — a lot in order that it was sufficient to distract from how boring the Chiefs have been turning into.
The NFL, determined to commodify every little thing in its orbit, at the moment are totally on the “all Taylor every little thing” bandwagon, and it’s tiresome.
WHAT A MOMENT! DID YOU CATCH THE MOMENT?! IT’S TWO PEOPLE DATING, WALKING TOGETHER. AT ONE POINT TAYLOR WAVES. OH, WHAT A MOMENT IT IS. IT’S NOT LIKE, I DON’T KNOW, THEY GOT TO CELEBRATE A SUPER BOWL WIN LESS THAN A YEAR AGO.
Slicing to the field final 12 months to indicate Tay Tay was completely comprehensible. It was the center of the Eras Tour, it was all contemporary. Now the NFL goes to maintain beating this useless horse as a lot as doable, as typically as doable. Simply allow them to be two individuals courting as a substitute of a rattling sideshow that’s crammed down our throats at each flip.
No. 3: Harrison Butker
Harrison Butker sucks. He’s rubbish. There isn’t a single kick he makes an attempt that I don’t secretly hope his leg flies off and goes by the posts together with the ball like Anton Lubchenko in The Simpsons.
No. 4: Andy Reid rallying round Harrison Butker
Butker’s graduation speech at Benedictine Faculty was gross. He slammed the LGBTQ+ group, known as IVF a “degenerate cultural worth,” and went on to have these alternative phrases about girls.
“I believe it’s you, the ladies, who’ve had probably the most diabolic lies instructed to you. A few of you might go on to guide profitable careers on the planet however I might enterprise to guess that almost all of you might be most enthusiastic about your marriage and the kids you’ll carry into this world.”
It was an opportunity for the Chiefs to face up for one thing, something. As a substitute the crew insulated Butker from extra criticism, and Andy Reid stated “I don’t suppose he was talking sick to girls.”
The issue: Ladies stated Butker was talking sick to him. They’re the individuals who matter. We don’t must re-litigate this, or give Butker extra oxygen than any kicker deserves — however the best way Reid dealt with it was gross. Coaches have been extra indignant about gamers celebrating than Reid was about insulting half of the fanbase.
No. 5: The tomahawk chop
Whereas we’re at it: Cease cosplaying as native People within the stands. It’s 2025.
No. 6: The refs
I’m not one in all these individuals who believes the NFL has been rigged for the Chiefs, however there’s little question they’re getting the identical form of famous person calls that Brady and the Patriots received after they have been on high.
It’s one factor to be irritated at referees for doing this, however Chiefs followers refuse to ackowledge ever that they’re getting these form of mushy calls. Y’all are, you understand it — simply personal it. It’s one of many perks on this league while you’re on high.
No. 7: Clark Hunt
Chiefs proprietor Clark Hunt, or C. Hunt as he must be referred to, is a horse’s ass.
One of many NFL’s nice nepo infants, Hunt loves to take credit score for every little thing the Chiefs do on the sector and put himself entrance and heart after they win — as if he did something exterior of reducing checks. The one factor he might have an actual impression with is the services and facilities for his gamers. The Chiefs have been 2nd final within the NFL within the NFLPA Report Card survey, and regardless of attaining every little thing in soccer, Hunt continues to function his enterprise like a cheapskate.
The Temu Patriots are getting previous
The Chiefs will in all probability win once more. They’ll in all probability hoist the Lombardi as soon as extra and three-peat. We’re going to maintain getting subjected to a crew that isn’t enjoyable sufficient to be excited for, nor have sufficient character to truly hate.
They’ll simply preserve present, bogging the league down till somebody attention-grabbing stops them. Hopefully it’ll be sooner, reasonably than later.
